So you agreed to go to a conference this week. No problem. The cleaning lady can stay with the kids for a while. Let’s worry about that later. Right now, you need something to wear.
Why do you have size 4 suits in your closet? Oh, yeah, that summer you worked at BigLaw on a high floor of the Sears Tower. The summer before your wedding. The summer you ran half marathons like they were nothin‘. It was a long time ago. Let it go.
Moving on. I don’t think you want to try those 6’s yet, either. You have your whole life to be a size 6. That’s a perfectly reasonable size for someone who’s five foot two (and a half!). So is size 8, though. And those suits fit! Congratulations! The muffin top is really not very noticeable at all. Why not try the size 10 suit that you bought after Charlotte was born? There. Isn’t that more comfortable? You look hot. For an aid worker. No–just hot. And you can breathe. Don’t worry. At least you have dozens of cute shoes to choose from.
Oh. You know that old wives’ tale about your feet growing a half size for each pregnancy? Well, it appears it’s more like a fact than a myth, in your case. Squeeze your giant, flattened feet into some pink high heels and off you go.
It’s okay. There, there. Go get yourself a cookie. You deserve it.